Why I Travel Alone

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Submitted by Walt on Wednesday, 12 November 200812 Comments

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There are always parties, networking opportunities, friends to get to know, and more every single week of my life, but one thing is certain – I can’t be pinned down.

Whenever I go to conventions, parties, clubs, meetups, etc. I almost ALWAYS travel alone – by choice. It started with things like when I was young if I wanted to go hiking or salsa one day, and couldn’t find anyone to go with. I was then forced to go alone, or not go at all. As this scenario occurred more often with different activities I realized it wasn’t such a bad thing. Recent sites like Meetup and Twitter make it easier to find these groups, but I never had these when I was in High School and College, so I’ve just learned to be independent, and its made me a better and more productive person. Here’s how:

Attending events alone forced me to be social. It literally broke down my ’shy wall’. I meet hundreds of people at some of these gatherings, and most come from a simple cold approach. It’s made me more confident, more outgoing, and better at speaking to people, period. Approach anxiety stops people from doing great things, meeting great people, and creating great opportunities. Over this by taking it head on.

No one decides my day for me. No one to argue with or entertain. I remember when I was at ASCAP’s ‘I Create Music Expo‘ last year how I was able to meet people left and right, attend all the sessions, go to all the networking events, and never have to worry about others pulling me behind. There were bands that attended the Expo who didn’t meet the people I met, or move as quick as me. In fact, one band even got into a huge argument and wound up leaving the Expo. Weird – but not that being in someone’s company holds me back, it keeps me on a path other than my own, and I can’t have that.

I’m able to attend more events and/or sessions. This is huge, and I equate it sometimes to a big company vs. a small company. Naturally, small companies have a faster turn around, less baggage, and are more productive.

I’m more independent. As you grow older you have bills to pay, errands to run, and that means you have to be reliable. So what happens when your backs against a wall and you have to step up to the plate during a time of high stress and high tension? You see, doing things alone forces me to be creative, free thinking, independent, strong, and confident. Not that being in a group hinders me from doing these things, but being independent seems to put things in a different perspective.

ASCAP I Create Music Expo

New York Television Festival

I never had tons of friends growing up. In fact, its part of the reason why I started playing guitar in the first place – to have a companion. But its funny how things work out – the irony is that I now have an entire community of 1,000’s who are constantly keeping in touch with me, hanging out with me, and looking up to me. Last night I attended an amazing RockBand party, after speaking at BarCampPhilly, and then I went to another party later that night. I recently had a blast at NYTVF, TechDrinks, and Karaoke I attended all these events alone, but by the time I left I made new friends, met amazing people, and even learned a thing or two.

Ultimately, there’s times to go in groups, and times to go alone. But showing up alone at a party, bar, or Expo isn’t a bad thing. The irony is that its probably the best thing I’ve learned to do.

So tell me – do you enjoy going to places alone?

12 Comments »

Coleman said:

I enjoy going to the movies alone or watching television alone because then I know how I feel about a particular movie or show and don’t have the sway or influence of someone else with me, plus I review them as well. And there are a ton of people out there who do not enjoy what I enjoy, so sometimes solace is best.

- 12 November 2008 at 2:41 pm

KathleenLD said:

For me, it has to do with my mindset. I’m not always in a super outgoing mood and it can really help to have a friend with me. On the other hand, I think you’re right that it’s easier to meet people when you go somewhere alone and probably easier to have a genuine conversation when you aren’t sitting next to someone who knows you from another situation. I think there’s merit in both

- 12 November 2008 at 2:46 pm

JP Toto said:

Well put, Walt. I went to my first barcamp in Orlando by myself and dove in with both feet. Met tons of great people. Brought the enthusiasm home with me. Been on a streak for 6 months now and have met awesome peeps.

- 12 November 2008 at 2:50 pm

BigFreaky said:

I think you seriously just wrote a blog, that I should have done myself. I don’t think I could have written it any differently. My sentiments are exactly the same. I do as well travel solo, and find it to be pretty convenient. We all have different tastes, and its hard to find others that have exactly the same as us, on all levels. It is great to see how the internet is melding with the real world now. As your example of twitter and other networking sites, this makes it all the easier to find new fun and interesting people to meet. See ya again somewhere along the lines.. I am sure of it. Just don’t be so scared this time

- 12 November 2008 at 2:53 pm

Walt said:

Freaky – I wasn’t afraid of you! haha Definetly can’t wait to chill again

JP – agreed. Approach Anxiety is a horrible thing to have, and going independent for 6 months is awesome!

Coleman – Sometimes staying at home is good, yes. but there’s more to life than that. I believe having a blance of doing both is what’s effective.

Kathleen – yea there;s pros and cons in both I suppose.

- 12 November 2008 at 3:01 pm

ropiko said:

I’m almost not going to anybody these past years. I’m at collage and everybody comes from another direction. Traveling alone everyday can be nice, but it’s fun to have someone to talk to when you are on your way. I’ve met allot of friends but lost more than I met. Don’t know what it is, but I alsways feel comfortable when I’m with someone else who I don’t know, wish I could talk better with people around me but I’m a bit too shy, and think too much about what other people think about me. Working on it but didn’t have any improvements yet. Traveling Alone is good for you so you can learn how things work and what to do when something happened and you’re all alone. But it can be fun to travel with friends, but only if they are really close friends.

Stay well everyone!
- ropiko

- 12 November 2008 at 4:52 pm

Paradis said:

You know what? I couldn’t agree more with you Walt. I travel about 2 times a year… and I totally enjoy my alone time! Thank you for the post.

- 12 November 2008 at 8:25 pm

Boy at Heart said:

This is a very good point you make Walt.
I went travelling alone to SE Asia 4 years ago. It changed me. I met my wife there and I now live there!

I am not an extovert guy, but once I am familiar with someone I’m different. It hinders my networking a little, because of the fear factor, but it’s not so bad these days. Ironically I can get up and play music in front of hundreds of people without flinching, but approaching a small group and introducing myself is harder for me.

I do still think it is better to go to events alone if you have a specific goal in mind, otherwise you end up automatically forming alliances with the person you go with and their perception of certain people can rub off on you and vice versa.

I have noticed too for example with the Taxi Road Rally (Music event in LA) success stories are usually people who went there by themselves. Food for thought.

- 18 November 2008 at 11:56 am

Eugene said:

Walt – I enjoyed this article as I’m always internally debating myself when I don’t have a partner to go with me to events/conferences/meetups. This is a great piece (including the comments) that will be influential when I’m left solo for upcoming events. BTW, didn’t I see you at New Media Expo with Brian Kim from uStream?

- 18 November 2008 at 7:14 pm

First impressions strike more than once. | Walt Ribeiro >> Internet's Music Teacher said:

[...] rely on one set of rules for any given act in one’s life is eventually not the way to be. I always travel alone, and feel that my impressions have grown stronger from [...]

- 20 November 2008 at 1:09 pm

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